Newlyweds, 1936 Diary
If he hadn't had a toothache, he wouldn't have been cranky
If he hadn't been cranky he wouldn't have made me irritable
If he hadn't made me irritable he wouldn't have broken the chair
If he hadn't broken the chair I wouldn't have knocked the radio
If I hadn't broken the radio he wouldn't have wrecked the place
and struck me.
If he hadn't struck me he wouldn't have broken my glasses
If he hadn't broken my glasses I wouldn't have a headache all week
And I'm still miserable with that headache
Friday, August 28, 1936
Iíve come to another very important crossroad in my life where I must
decide, once and for all, on one thing or another.
Unfortunately, I put my
all into my love and nothing else exists or is of any importance than my
passion. But it will never do to make him a slave to my whims. And though
it breaks my heart I must learn to accept and bear with his absorptions. I
simply must learn to amuse myself by myself, to live by myself again.
Mrs. Jere Casagrande, Jr .
133 North Fulton Ave.
Mount Vernon, N. Y .
Slept very late. Took Winkie for a walk to get the Times while Jere made
breakfast. Betty came up while I was cleaning. Washed my hair and she set
it for me very nicely too.
Loafed all the rest of the day. After supper visited with
Mrs. Smyth awhile. Stayed to keep her company while she ironed. Am very
much afraid my full heart spilled over. Too much so.
Of course it had to rain today before I got halfway to work. After all
of Betty's effort I looked like a drowned kitten. Jere had to work late.
Felt [punk] all day, work was slow and my back ached unbearably. There
was such a fierce storm on the way home, I could hardly make headway and
here I was without hat, coat, gloves or stockings. Was almost frozen
and almost wept with helpless rage. Just about got thawed out then started
back for Jere. Brought two wool caps to keep our ears warm.
Felt sick as a dog and decided to stay home for the day.
Did go out for a few errands. Went to the 1ibrary and found I'd forgotten the card. Came back for it. By two oclock finally settled
in bed with a contented sigh. Stayed there til Jere came home. Mrs. Hubbard
came up to see about Mr. Calleren well that's a load off my mind. I'm
glad it's settled.
Mr. Calleren was here at last and seems to have made a good job of it
too. Thank God. Went out later for a walk and bought two whole pounds
of Fanny Farmer candy and some cigarettes. We enjoyed it enormously. Winkie
just loves her walks. We ought to take her more often poor doggie.
Had an altercation with Jere again because of the dog. My
poor baby had a toothache, that's what made him so cranky. At lunchtime
I find he'd not come to work so I got on the bike and hurried home as
fast as I could in that wind. It was awfully hard going. Took all my willpower
to keep going. Find he had the tooth pulled and, my, he looked a sight!
He stayed home of course. I was late for work but who cares. !
I'm disgusted. Here I wrangled a weekend out of Harold and did you ever
see such disgusting weather!
Adelaide dropped in on us last Monday, right in the middle
of a beautiful squabble. The dog as usual. Jere was all for packing her
off again but I persuaded him to let her stay. I took her down to the
plant and asked Harold to get her a job. He did; she's working in the
mica department. It seems to work all right; she helps a little with the
housework and goes out every night.
I'm so frightfully disappointed. Another idol has shown his clay feet. I
thought Harold was so very nice and a real square fellow and he's just a
four-flusher after all. Deceiving, like most of the males. How could he
deceive [Lucy] like that. Why? He knew he couldn't get away with it.
Too many people knew about his wife and three children. He even tried
to kid me for the longest while. Oh, it's all so sordid.
Oh my sweet husband. I'm so glad youíre different. I know
I hold you high and love and need [wtl share it with anyone. You are mine
and mine alone. Do you wonder that I cherish you so and adore you.
It was too bad Jere couldn't get the Thanksgiving weekend off. But work
is work, and we did have a wonderful time. We made [in with] Harold and
were supposed to go back with him. But when I called him up he said he
was leaving at four and that was much too early. We were having such
a grand time. Tante Rose and Lawrence, Lotte, Erick and Eddie were there.
We were singing and playing games etc.
Adelaide Casagrande: left
It is really too bad that you bad to run out on us like
this. You didn't even have the decency to let us know, not that it
would have mattered anyhow, you were free to come and go as you chose.
I can see now that you knew last Thursday already that you werenít coming
back. I suppose there's no need to become melodramatic, you know very
well what I mean when I say I'm through with you. Even if you didn't
lose your job at the plant I wouldnít shelter you again even if you
had no place to lay your head, not for one night. Iíll not live with
anyone I can't trust and you have proven time and again that you cannot
ever be open and aboveboard. The responsibility of having such an unbalanced
person in the house is more than I care to bear. Therefore, I don't
want you ever to set foot into my house again. I shall go to no further
trouble on your account. You may come and get your things and your check
then I'll have nothing more to do with you.. You are Jere's sister as
far as I'm concerned, that's all.
The stork arrived at last and Iím about worn out. It's almost as if I
had the puppies. Benita started right after breakfast and was restless
all afternoon. I [curled] next to her box and even fell asleep with my
hand on her. Around five the first one came. Light fawn just like [Benny]
and sometime after the other one chocolate brown and so tiny. I thought
it would never come, but between us we managed to get it out. Both are
males and so sweet. They're all doing fine now.
Harold had to go into Yonkers for his wife so Jere and I went along to
take the puppies to Vernon. Christmas Iíll have my hands too full to take
them [two]. Harold, Rose and Margie had supper at our house. It was just
scrambled eggs and toasted bread for the whole bunch. I hardly got anything
myself. Got to Mt. Vernon at 9 o'clock. Went to Jere's mother's house
but no one was home. Might have known it.
Minded Harold's children again while he and the others went
out. It is the most dreary place imaginable. I could never call this home.
I'm always anxious to get home to our own cozy little place.
I can't understand Harold. He bas the [nicest] children
and he goes around playing Romeo to every skirt that will listen. The
more I see of him the less I like him. I think he's [certainly] crude
and commonplace and ordinary. And so is his wife. I do not like her at
That was some circus this morning. Jere got up with a grouch and he
provoked and irritated me so much that when he accidentally spilt the
coffee on my clean cloth I was furious and yanked the (skirt) off with all
the dishes on it. Everything went spinning. He lost his temper and slapped
me; and I [raved]. We patched it up somehow but I wasn't fit for any thing after
that day. I'm afraid my nerves are shot plumb to hell. I must get some
Went home for Christmas and stayed til Sunday. Oh what a
time we had. We made the rounds, visiting everybody. [Harry and the kids]
also his mother. She seems content with her new job. I only hope she
keeps it. She's working for two [priests] and staying there. That gives
her a rest from her family. We got to know Harryís sister and her husband
quite well. They're really very nice people. I like them both. We had
a jolly nice time up there.
Adelaide was miffed because we paid no attention to her. So what. Winkie was glad to see us [back. If only] I could take her
with us .
My darling, my joy, how sweet to hold you when I weary of
this foolish world. What an endless barren monotony Life would be if I
didnít have you to laugh with.
I just bubble over with pure joy whenever I become conscious
of the fact that [annition] that we two are truly self-sufficient. We
can [work] and [books]; our walks and [ljflskjdls] others have loved as
we, as faithfully and passionately as dearly and tenderly.
Frieda Ė your husband phoned that you should not meet him
Friday, June 23, 1936
I donít know just what to say about Walter, I really donít.
I guess though, Iíd better use [much more] discretion than the situation
might warrant. Thereís no denying the fact he rather likes me, and whatís
the use to play with Jere. Not for myself, good heavens. Iím [someone]
to him, but itís true I do like him; he is German and so much like Joe.
To me itís a pleasure to have him around but not at the expense of his
and Jereís friendship. His and Jereís friendshipó[how] are they friends?
Certainly they were, and if they arenít I must honestly say it isnít all
Jereís fault. He knows how he is, beís been with us long enough, so itís
either [that he's really] too [long or his gonny weed] of him. Which I
hope not. My darling is such a sensitive nature, it would hurt him very
much. But I [know] just as soon as I know how it is one way or another,
I shall see to it thereís a clean and complete break.
(That damned fool, does he think Iím so hard up for entertainment
that I could ever remotely think of going out with him!! He must think
me a complete ass. The poor stupid fool.)