April, 2007

This is the story of my mother, a battered wife, who kept diaries from the time she fell in love with my father in the 1930's until the last entry in 1967. She also kept copies of all letters she ever wrote. The material traces the death of her 'blythe spirit,' as she terms it, the heart wrenching, slow changes from loving wife to bitter martyr. In the 1990s I compiled the diaries, journals, and letters, along with recorded "remembering" sessions with my siblings and my personal comments.

I picked up the project again this year because I feel strongly that--although spousal abuse is currently a hot topic--not enough attention is paid to the impact of battering upon the children witnessing the violence. So I am now adding that information.

As a child who loved both my parents, I also feel the need to better understand both the psychology of the batterer and that of the victim. My father wasn't evil; he was also a damaged human being. And my mother wasn't guiltless; she had choices and failed to make the right ones. And so I am also adding information on the psychology of the batterer and family dynamics.

We all come into this world as blithe spirits, but sadly, some of us get beaten down. I hope that telling my mother's and father's story will help someone avoid the inevitable damage, will help someone take advantage of the resources available, to break the cycle of the death of blithe spirits!.. Reading my mother's diaries and journals, it is clear how she was affected. I know how I was affected and have inklings about how my siblings were affected. It's difficult to raise children when you are not psychologically healthy. In many countries today we are blessed with untold resources to help; I pray that tomorrow's children will be better off. According to Wikipedia.

Awareness and documentation of domestic violence differs from country to country. According to the Centers for Disease Control, domestic violence is a serious, preventable public health problem affecting more than 32 million Americans, or more than 10% of the U.S. population (Tjaden and Thoennes 2000).